Happy Teacher's Day

Happy Teacher's Day to all teachers on the world. Dun care wat kind of a teacher u are. But well *some* kind of teachers really dun deserve a greeting. Hmm

I cant really remember how long I have not seen/participated in a teacher's day celebration le.I think the last time was in sec sch ba. Wah! That's long eh. =p

Suzhen, dun be too affected with wat he said. Just be urself. Just let him and live in his own great world. Like that someone I previously mentioned in my blog about she said me wat irresponsibel and not trustworthy tt one. These kind of pple *love* to put themselves at the top position and thinks that other pple are pple like mud. But if one day thay fall, they will realise that they are not even worth a cent. So ya. Cheer up! =)

The Moon

I took a pic of the moon two days ago. Well, I also dunno how come I went to take this pic. I just saw the moon when I stick my head out of the window and gaze up at the sky. Saw the moon so big and clear so quickly grabbed my camera and took it down. Its not very clear in the pic but still can see tho. But can figure out that the moon wasnt a full moon. It's oval shaped. HeeAiya too bad Singapore dun have the moon eclipse like HK had few days ago. sigh

sigh

Falling ill at the beginning of my holidays?! How pethatic. I wan to enjoy my holidays de lo. I still tot of going to the park to blade, swimming pool to swim, shopping, etc. Now cant do anything except staying at home and hide under my blanket. I didnt even go for my violin lesson today. How poor thing! sigh!

Hoho! Just changed my blogskin. How is it? Nicer den the flickering stars tt one hor. At least easier to read ba without those irritating stars flickering at the background. I love this one eh. Big wordings, neat structure and the best is, it dosent have anything *extra* things at the background or elsewhere.

13 more days to the release of my sch exam results which I dun think it will be good. 26 more days to my violin exam. SianZz!

Its Over

YupZz! My exams are over! Yay! But of cos only sch exams la. Violin next month. Scared scared! Anyway, I think I'm gonna fail my maths. Hmm so wat's that so happy of ending exams hor. Oh well, hopefully I can scrape through den no need to repeat the module. *sigh*

Oh no! I'm ill! Sore throat! Damn it! Luckily not during exams ya:) I think I've had too much of fish crackles, potato chips and stuff like that. Really got to control ya=p

Wat are my plans for this 1month long hols neh?? Hmm...of cos have to practice hard for my violin. Ohoh! Genting trip on 911! Hehe! I can go in to the casino this time round. So happy! I wanna pull the tiger machine(or watever it's called). So excited!=D

Ok! I should forget about those unhappy staff from now on. Yup! I know I can do it. =)

Oh yes! My rollerblade plan is still on ya. Think I go buy a pair and try myself. Hmm...hopefully I would not fall and roll like a *fishball* Ew! Fishy! =p

Secret

Went to watch Secret on Sun with U-R-Nice and Zhen Zhen. It was really a very touching movie. Gui Lun Mei really quite pretty hor. Heard that she has a 41 years old boyfriend. Really unbelievable.

Back to the movie. Although it was touching, the ending was abit erm~~~ It would be nice if they show them being together in 1979. Instead, the last scene was Jay opened the door and they saw each other and den...ended. Haha

But it was, overall, a very nice and touching movie. As the movie finishes, a tought came to my mind. I should say it's a question. If I were Xiang Lun, would I run back to the piano room, knowing it would be pulled down on that same day? Risking my own life just to go back to 1979 to see Xiao Yu. I realised I have no answer. I'm hesitating with this until now lo. U-R-Nice say it's the power of love that brought Jay to forgo everything for Xiao Yu. Hah! I dunno but maybe I'll have an answer once I found someone like Xiao Yu who meant alot to Xiang Lun.

Wow! Jay Chou's piano skills were really fantastic! His hands were like controlled by machine instead of his own body. So fast and, of cos, very nice. So smooth! Hmm... I think I'm changing my impression of Jay Chou le. Haha!

Dissappointed

It was the NDP yesterday and I think the NDP celebration was fantastic. Although I was at home watching it through the live broadcast, I can feel the atmostphere of celebration and excitment. It was really a very creative idea to hold the NDP at marina bay with the floating stage. The light effects casted on the surface of the water was briliant! I actually regret of not going. I should have get the tickets ma. Maybe next year ba. Although it would be super crowded, I think it would be quite worth it ba. Once a year only so ya if I am able to get the tickets next year, I will definitely go.

However, I was dissapointed because I cant see the fireworks from my house. Sigh! All because of that stupid HDB building blocking la. Idiot man! I already took out my camera and prepared to take photos of it le lo. Want to send it to my 2nd sister ma. Stupid la. Still say whole of SG would be able to see. Bluff me one. Humph! =(

How Funny =O

I'm really stupid and...and...sigh...I dunno how to describe man.

Was waiting for my dad after class yesterday. It was 12.30 le. Then, I saw a red cab driving in so I tot it was dad lo. So, I quickly walked towards the taxi and I opened the front door of the taxi. Apparently I didnt pay attention, or i should say I didnt see carefully whether is the driver my dad. And I actually already sitting in le and that was when I turned to look towards the driver's direction, I was shocked and how come my dad has changes appearance. Haha! Ok so i quickly say sorry saw the wrong car and quickly get out of the car. *sob* I was so malu lo! Idiot man! My dad drive red cab y he also dribe red cab and came in at that time ma? Haha! Okok. Cannot blame anyone la. Its my fault of not being careful. Next time I die also wont get into the car unless my dad calls me. Humph!

Another incident which happened just now when my sis and I were at popular buying something. We shopped for almost an hour just to look for a nice stapler and punch. Ok! Finally chosen one den went to look at dictionaries and the harry potter books but didnt manage to find the one we were looking for. So, we decided to pay le when I realised I didnt have any cash with me. I think my wallet only left with $0.15. Haha! Forgot to withdraw $$$ la. So, I asked my sis if she has a $10 note or something. Den she dig dig dig and only found a $2 note lo. See! How poor we are. =p I tot of paying by credit card but I think merely $7 of goods will look weird and finding trouble if we uses credit cards. So, sigh, we decided to put them back and buy tml. Siao rite?! How embarrased lo.

Woof! Its SG's 42nd birthday tml. As a singaporean, I should say "HAPPY 42ND BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE". How many of u will be going to marina bay to watch the NDP live? Well, I'm not going la anyway, I dun like to squeeze. 7000 pple leh. How to go home after that man. But I am looking forward to see how the movable stage will look like. Sounds quite cool eh. And the fireworks too! =) I think I would be to see it from my area ba. Well, it was said to be all singaporeans at anywhere would be able to see it isnt it? =p

WOW!

Wow! 2 weeks! Exactly two weeks didnt update my blog le. Hope you guys have not switch to another weblog le. =p

Have been really really busy and *sian* with schwork. WTH man! Give us such little time to do. How to do well? How pervertic the lecturers were.

Anyway, I'll be free and can fly away after tonight. Last and final assignment dueing tml. So happy! =D I need to look for things to do liao. Besides start revising for my exams, which is 3 and a half weeks from now, I wanna go shopping! But, of course, have to practice for my violin exam also la.

I wanna learn how to use photoshop. Anyone can teach me? Dunno wan download the software online or buy the it leh. I scared wait waste money and also scared if download online computer gets virus attacks. Hmm...

I slept at 4.30am this morning leh. How mad right? And I can still tahan till now, sitting here writing blog entries. How surprising. =p

Wa! Although I was busy for the pass two weeks, I finished listening to the audio book of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows within 4 days. Haha! Exciting ma. I really feel tired for the 3 main characters in the story leh. Have to flee here and there for their lives. Super tiring de lo. Anyway, It is very interesting. You guys should read/listen.

Hey guys, if I have missed any updates please update me leh. Gossip or watever can update me? I now find myself like out of the world liao. haha!

Long update

Hm...Finally manage to squeeze out some time to blog. Didnt update for quite sometime le. Hopefully u guys have not stop coming in to read. =p Was really really busy with schwork. Managed to finish 2 of my assignments on time. Huray! But, wel, I still have 4 more to go. 2 esays, 1 maths and 1 english. All duing on the 1st week of aug. SianZz! I really cant remember when was the last time I watched tv. But, I watched a movie on sunday which is...Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! I actually told myself no matter how tired and no matter how much work I have to do, I will definitely watch it in cinema. Abit mad I noe but yeah I'm mad.

I think the movie is good but I think it could be better if they dun rush through the story so much. Its only a 2hr20min movie lo. Its definite that they could have include more scenes and in between stories. But overall still acceptable cos its Harry Potter series. =p. What I can say is no matter how lousy will this or the future movies of Harry Potter, I'll still find it good one. Hee!

I really need some extra sleep. I want sleep! I need sleep! I cant understand, with so much of schwork, some of the students still can go shopping after sch one wor. Erm...actually I overheard them talking about it de la. Not that I know them. Haha! I can really understand why some pple feel that 24hrs a day is not enough le. How nice if there is 30hrs a day or more den I will have more time to do my assignments and get more SLEEP! Ew! I dun think I can go out for the next 2-3 weekends le cos have to get the rest of the assignments done and I wanna sleep. If can finish the assignmets earlier den I will have more time for exam revision, the new Hary Potter book and SLEEP. Eh...I think I should change the subject of this blog entry to *Lack of SLEEP*. How does that sound? =p

Luckily I have something to look forward to this week. If not I think I'll feel more miserable. Maybe is becos I have nv been so into schwork ba tts y I think its very tidius. Which means, I have nv been hardworking before. Its, definitely, time to have a change. But, of cos, I will still play or relax relax at times but I think by now I should noe when is the right time to do the right thing le ba. Actually, frankly speaking, doing sch assignments isnt tt terrible ma. I can feel the satisfaction when handing in my just dued assignments to the lecturer. Although I got alot alot of help from my sister, it really feels good to be on time with the all sch work. If its last time, I will just find excuses for myself not to hand in and just leave it. Anyway, I hope I can smoothly de du guo the remaining 14 and a-half months and proceed to Uni. Jia you for me ba =)

I'm quite worried for my violin exam though. Its early Sept and my sch exams will be during the last few days of Aug. How on earth am I suppose to cope with both exam at the same time? Worried worried worried! =(

Wat an IDIOT!

Wanted to look for the office of the person in charge to sign the form. Joanne asked me to seek the security guard's help and I did. Went to the guard and I asked, "Could you tell me where is Sock Cheng's office?". He pointed his finger to the other side of the hall and said, "You see the clock over ther? Its just beside the door." And then I said, "Erh...Sorry I cannot see very well and I cant see any clocks around." He continued to point to that particular direction and kept saying its just beside the clock. Fine, since he keeps pointing to that direction den I shall walk over to take a look but I really cant find any clocks around. So, I walked 1 round back to the guard's table and I gave him a *confused* expression. Den, he started pointing to that direction again and I continued to shoot a *confused* look at him. Den, he told me straight into my face, "Aiyo, I really dunno what to say about you la." I could my temper rising the moment he told me off. Well, I, den, sort of lost control and raised my voice and told him, "I already told you I cant see well!" Den he turned and walked towards the direction he pointed to me earlier, apparrently wanting to show me the way there BUT I said, "Forget it! I do not need your help!" Make a guess of wat he replied. He turned away while shouting, "Next time dun ask me ah!"

A security guard of an educational institution just...just...just being so attitude, inpolite, rude..., etc etc. I'm very sure that I've asked politely. I think I even wore a faint smile on my face when asking. I dun think I'm rude or anything. Those who knew me well, I will nv raise my voice to a person unless he/she crosses my path and furthermore, that idiotic and shitty little guard's just a stranger to me. Wat have I done to him man. Killed his family isit? He better keep an eye on every step of his own. If he ever puts a toe out of line and ever crosses my path again, I'll garantee him a miserable life as long as I'm studying there. I mean wat I say.

Some piles of homework/assignments!

3rd day of sch and the amount of assignments is piling up. Business maths has 2 assignments and well I'm not very sure when's it due and a list of formula list to memorise and MPO has 1 individual report of 1000 words long required and another group report of 2000 words long required and I have totally no idea of wat the hell were the questions asking tho =(! As for English for Business, 2 CA papers to be done by the 5th lecture. How mad! I do not recall that I ever had such amount of homework since the 1st day I stepped into a sch for the 1st lesson. Or had I ignored them. Well, now I'm having it!

1st day of sch today

Today's the 1st day of sch. Feeling good! I tot I would feel lost and scared I wont be able to catch up but everything was good. The lecturer is a very nice person. He told me he admires my determination. Well, I said thanks. =)

Aiyo, I wouldnt have brought the stupid think textbook if I knew it earlier. The lecturer will NOT use the book but its for our own ref and revision la. HaiZz...den I shouldnt have bought the bag le. How stup! =(

Its the first time I walked up straight away to the sch. Past rackies I only reached halfway den u-turn le. OMG! I could feel my legs not to my control when I walked up the slope. One moment I tot I might fall. I could the tightness of my legs' muscles. How horrible! Luckily my dad came to fetch me after sch but I dun mind walking DOWN! But well, better den nothing.

Last day of freedom!

This is the last free weekends before sch starts tml. So, went shopping with Eunice yest. Hee! Tamp metro closing down sale really like foc one lo. Super crowded lo. Aiya anyway, din buy anything from metro. Den went around TM to find my harversack(correct spelling ma?). All big big de. But hai hao managed to find a pink nike, size okok de wich cost $39 and still got 15% discount lo. Quite cheap.

Hmm...Im feeling quite excited and scared of tml leh. I think I have to leave my hse 2hrs before the lesson time cos I scared bt timah road there might jam during peak hrs. Hai means I have to wake up very very early!

Dunno how would tml turn out leh. Hopefully I can noe many good pple. Sigh! Wish me good luck ba. =)

How to survive?

Went to buy my schbooks today and I wonder really can finish the all the chapters in 2mths time. Act the price of the book alr suggested how thick the books would be le. Avg cost for 1 book is $40 and this price if after discount le hor so yeah can imagine how ex the book was. Additionally, there are another stack of notes also lo. Sigh!

schbooks for the 1st sem

notes for the 1st sem

total amount of materials for just 1st sem

Went to change my hairstyle yesterday and my sis sayid its not nice =( Wat do u think?

not nice meh? ok ma =p

The Orientation

Yesterday was the oreintation and hmm so far still quite ok ba even I didnt really make frens there but knew a girl from my class but not considered as *fren* ba. Like my sis said. Its very diff to make real good friends under such situation lo cos we are not like sec sch or pri sch where we willl get to eat lunch or tea break tog or wat lo. There will be a break in the middle of the lecture la but I dun its will be enuff for me to know everyone from the same class when there are about 50-60 pple in ONE class. And dun think there will have time to tok during the lecture ba. So I think I will have to rely on myself le.

Anyway, the orientation lasted 3.5hrs from 9.30 to 1pm. I went off after collecting the notes for this sem. Went to wait for 67 at around 1 but I boarded the bus at 1.50. Reason being, I cant see the bus num even with a monoculars. Its not that the monoculars is useless lo. I can see the nums on SBS bus lo. So who's fault? The person who designed the buses for SMRT has to blame! How stupid brain to come out with such bus nums.

Anyway, starting sch officially on monday, 9.30, and the first lecure alr make me sian liao cos its biz mats. Sure got lots of formulas to memorise. Wish me good luck ba. =P

Orientation tml

Went rackying again today. I nearly fall asleep on the bus on my way back to Eunos. Aiyoyo! *yawnZz*

Tml is the orientation le. Scared scared. I also dunno wat I'm afraid of leh. Just have the feeling lo. Have to wake up very early tml wor. Think have to step out of the hse latest by 7.30am. Super early sia! =(

Will blog again when I comes back from orientation. Lets see how many pple I get to know tml. =)

Really damn far seh! =(

Today went rakying with my mummy and sister. Aiyoyo! It seemed like no matter which way I take hor I'll still need at least 1.5 hrs to reachthe management hse leh. Of cos, This 1.5 hrs inclusive of walking time from the bus stop to the main entrance of the sch. Bur still considered as far ma. Ok maybe my main concern is not the distance anymore but the difficulty of seeing the bus num of buses from SMRT and Transiland. The SBS onse still okok but *sobzzzzz* pian pian the bus i must take from newton stn is a SMRT bus. Tian ah! How come like that leh?! =(

I'm quite sure that I need to bring umbrella, water bottle and tissue to sch everyday. Umbrella is for rainy/sunny weather. Water bottle cos if no water I think I'll dehydrate along the way walking up to the sch. Tissue is for wiping sweat. Hmm...think the water bottle need a bigger one.

So Far!!!

I was really quite happy when I received the letter from SIM saying that I have been accepted in the diploma course and will commence sch on the 2nd July. I tot my lectures/tutorials/lessons or watever will be held at the SIM HQ where I went rackying before.

Yesterday, I received a letter from SIM and to my surprise, the letter stated that all lectures/tutorials/lessons or watever will be held at a place call The SIM Management House. So, I went to check the map and see how to get there lo. To my HORROR, the management hse is at some dunno how many main roads away from the HQ! And bare in mind that there's no bus to get there de hor. Nearest way is alight at Chinese High and WALK in. I'm regreting to choose SIM liao but no choice leh. How am I gonna survive for the next 15 mths man?!

AR!!! I HATE SIM!

Have I really forgotten?

Sat

Supposed to meet Ah Qing they all 2.30pm at Tamp MRT ctl stn de but I woke up at 2.17pm lo. Haha! End up Eunice and I went to the chalet ourselves and reached there at 6+. HaiZz...

At the RSPVH chalet

Act did nothing much there la just chat here and there. There are alot of new faces lo. Cant really remember who is who except for one. Hee. =P. Anyway, they planned a night adventure to somewhere very near to OCH. Ew! Felt a little erie when we were on top of a hill beside OCH. Heard from Eunice tt the place where the staircase beside us is leading to has alot of incent papers flying around de. AR! So kong bu! Anyway, I din stay for the whole thing to finish. Act wanted to go changi viliage de but really too late and quite tired liao so din go.

Sun

Went shopping with mummy at TM. Wa Wa Wa! Only TM only hor and we spent quite alot le. Bought a pair of sports sandles(cos my former one was being STOLEN! curse the thief), a pair of very comfortable high class slippers =P, 2 jackets-1 from converse and the other from Puma and 2-3 pairs of berms/3quarter pants. Ha! I dunno how to calculate how much we spent yesterday. =)

Surprisingly, I din think of it for the past 2 day wor. I'm sure that I'm not controlling myself not to think. The thots just din come to my mind. I think its a good sign la. Although I'm thinking of it now but I'm feeling less painful. Maybe there are many other things for me to think now ba. For e.g, sch starting soon and some other things/people...Hee =P

How much have I eaten today?

I finally received my admission letter from SIM le and I bought a little winnie the pooh bear for myself cos I was really quite happy yesterday so bought something for myself lo.

Den today, hmm my mood still quite ok leh and I really ate ALOT today. Morning dimsum and I couldnt remember how many prawn dumplings and shew mais I had, and of cos still have other dishes la.

Den dinner went back to the same restaurant and I had a whole plate of yi mian to myself, a bowl of plain rice, 1-2 sweet and sour prawn, dunno how many pieces of soya chicken, 1-2 mouth full of steamed fish, dunno how many cups of crysanthemum tea, etc etc. I think I've gained 1 or 2 kgs today and I'm feeling a bit hungry now. Haha! Pple say hua bei fen wei li liangbut I hua bei fen wei shi liang which is no good! =(

Finally, It has arrived

I think today is the best and happiest day i had since last thurs cos I finally got the admission letter from SIM.

Woke up pretty early today, naturally. I felt a little happier when I woke up this morning maybe it was because I'm gonna meet two of my good friends today. Eunice for lunch and Xiang for dinner.

Although I was feeling a little happier den yesterday, I was more happy and excited as I saw the logo of SIM on a brown coloured A4 envolope when I opened my letter box after lunch with Eunice. I really dashed home to open the envolope lo. Just for the letter's sake, I RAN hor. Anyway, am very happy la.

I really felt much much much better when I saw the letter. Maybe the glimpse of hope was laid on that letter its just that I din noticed it. Well, now I'll have to start prepare for the new environment, pple and life.

I hope that this will be a helping path for me to regain my confidence and strength.

Anyway, will be having orientation on the 26th and den starting sch officially on the 2nd. Wish me good luck! =)

Happy Birthday To Myself

Now is past midnight. Today is 12th June.

Happy Birthday to myself.

But I dun feel the excitment and joy in myself.

My Birthday Wishes:

• my family and friends to be happy and healthy always
• receive the letter from SIM soon
• get into SIM
• forget all the unhappiness
• to have strength to move on again

I'm not sure how many of my wishes can come true but...

I actually received smses from my friends this morning...erh...I saw them in the afternoon tho cos I woke up at 2pm hee. Anyway, one of them sent me a super long sms wishing me happy birthday and meanwhile ask me to have hope in life. I noe we should live this way, never let ourselves be defeated but sometimes things just dosent happen the way u wanted or wished. Anyway, it was a very encouraging sms tho. Thanks for everything! I will definitely stand right up again but tt will depend on when I can find the glimpse of hope u mentioned in ur sms.

For now, I'm, basically, interested in nothing except waiting for the letter to arrive. Will it ever arrive, I have no idea.

If nothing had ever happened, I'm can tell u that I will definitely enjoy myself today but I just cant find the excitement despite it is my 21st birthday today. I noe it very clearly that its a special day for me but I just find it a very normal day. Usually, I will find friends to go out for shopping/ktv etc etc on my birthday but I just din felt like doing anything. Not even stepping out of the hse. I just wanna stay at home play my stupid and boring sims2, just like other normal day. I just feel the usual ME.

This afternoon when I took out the piece of cake which has the big 21 on it , I felt abit sad No more the usual happy feeling when I see my birthday cake, specially made for my sake. I dunno how to explain it but somehow, I'm not willing to eat the cake, not sure isit bcos its very nicely decorated or isit I hate the feeling of being older by a yr and means any unhappy things I'll have to understand it myself and no one can ever understand how I feel. I dunnno wat am I talking about le.I will never forget the feeling, never in my life. I just cant find the strength to pick up anything.

I really dunno how long will this last. I'm feeling abit frustrated by myself being so..........i dunno wat to describe it. Until now, I can still remember the scene, the words, the feelings. It hurts whenever these memories come into my mind.

My Birthday Chalet

It was my 21st bday chalet last nite. It wasnt the exact day but yeah I celebrated it 2 days in advance. I felt quite excited the night before and more yesterday of cos.

We reached the chalet at 3pm and the weather was SUPER DAMN hot. Anyway, I din bring any of my shower cream or shampoo there so I CANNOT bathe! How poor thing! Was shocked to receive an sms from Suzhen saying that they will be reaching in maybe 20mins and its only 3.30pm. Very early tho but it was great cos got pple accompany me. As we were playing some card games, I received another sms but it was from GTK and he told me he have a sudden appt so he wont be able to make it. I was quite angry tho cos he was the first few to tell me that he will be coming and he end up flew my kite. HaiZz

As my relatives arrived, Eunice, Xiao Xiang etc also arrived. Den the buffet started. The food was not as bad as wat Xiang had told me about. I particularly like the beancard and the *yu tiao*. Anyway, I just walked here and there socialising and taking photos until the cake appear. Hee...waited very long le cos it was black forest flavoured. My favourite! :P The cake looked great! Very nicely decorated and I love it!

Den it was the cake cutting ceremony. Very hard to describe the feeling at that moment. The moment when I laid the knife onto the surface of the cake, I felt a sudden hmm haha dunno how to explain. But I'm really very very happy to have so many pple celebrating for me. I'm really greatful to them! Especially to those who have been there for me all the time and especially at times when I'm down and sad. U know who u are :P

I'm really very happy but well, I still can remember the feeling I felt on Thursday. Yup of cos I did try not to recall back to wat happened tt day but the memory just dun wanna let me off. It is still following me wherever I went. Although there were many pple at the chalet and I was the main character of the night, I cant feel the importance of myself being the birthday girl. Maybe the matter lies in myself of not being able to let go. But sometimes I will think y should I let go when I have not done anything wrong. But I think that's an excuse to push the blame to others. Apparently, I still think the problem lies on me. Well, I wont cry anymore but if u wan me to be really really as happy as before, I have to say sorry I cant do it. I can smile widely in front of u but dun expect me to be like before, as cheerful, as positive. I'm starting to accept the reality of this world, how is the world looking at me. Last time I will say'just dun bother how pple looks at u' but I wont say such dumb and crap things now.

I dun think anyone or anything can help me with anything now. I think I just needs time to get well and regain strength again. If u ask me to get another job again, I'll tell u straight into ur face *NO*. Maybe u'll say I'm timid but well, I'm not afraid of being a timid anymore. Wanting me to face the same thing again=asking me to kill myself.

All the pple at the chalet wished me happy birthday but I'm finding it a feng ci cos I think I'm not gonna have a happy birthday this year. Pple say the 21st year of ur life represents that u're an adult and does tt means I have to accept anything craps or nonsense so that I'll be called a *matured* person? If thats the case, den I rather be a kid forever so that I no need to go through things which I'm not wishing to go through.

Well, the chalet photos were uploaded so pls view below:

After 15hrs of sleep

I slept after posting my previous entry at about 9.30, Feeling down, mentally tired. Didnt want to do anything so might as well sleep. I think only by sleeping, I can gain strength again. Or this is the excuse that I'm giving myself to avoid facing the fact and reality. I dunno. I'm trying hard not to think about it but well, I think I need more time.

Although I had 15hrs of sleep last nite, I'm still feeling tired. Felt like lying on the bed for the whole day and not doing anything but I still have to go for my violin lesson.

Before yesterday, I actually looked forward to Sunday but I cant find the espiration in it now. Now, to me, it will just be a tired day.

Actually, the only think I'm interested to do now is to go for a luxurious shopping. But well, dun have much capital to do tt. So can forget about it.

To: Eunice and Xiao Xiang,
I'm feeling better now le. No worries! :) I shall say, tears really have healing powers! Sentence extracted from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and physically tested by myself. :)

How Pathetic...

Yesterday was the interview. Was nervous, scared, stressed, etc etc... But when the person asked me if I can start work immediately as a try out for 1 or 2 days to see if I'm suitable for the position, I was very happy and excited, and of cos a little stressed.

Basically, the day went by very fast and smoothly. But for today, I felt totally useless and stupid! I can spend 2.5 hrs to blanko+figuring how to operate the photocopier+zapping 5 copies of docs. Can anyone of u imagine? I'm jus tt slow, stupid, useless, etc etc...

Actually, I'm not surprised when Jacklyn told that KH feels that I'm not suitable for the position and told me that I need not come for work tml. Although I'm not surprised, I still felt abit down. I'm not even sure how to paste a postate note! How dumb!

I let out my feelings to Xiang during lunch and she asked me to think positively. It could be that KH is just testing my confidence. But I dosent really agree with her and I was told not to come tml only in the late afternoon lo so my 6th sense was right! Cos if I were KH, I wouldnt want to employ someone like me..

I dunno wat to say. Really dunno. If I say I'm ok with it of cos I'm faking. Or I shall say, I faked an OK face to Jacklyn. Actually I tot I was prepared with it even before this but I still cant stop thinking that I'm good for nothing. How simple the job is and can take hrs to complete it. I shall be greatful if they ask me to come tml.

Although I dun really like this job but I'm interested in gaining some experience at least. But 2 day... Only 2 day, wat experience have I gained? Nothing! I just get to know that I'm such an idiot. I hate this feeling! But I have no idea how I can chase these uneasiness away.

I can say that I've really did my very best. I' not blaming them for this but blaming myself. Cant even do simple stuff like this. Just feel like not talking to anyone and hide myself. I noe that my family is trying not to feel anything about it but...but...I jus cant stop myself, stop my tears from coming to my eyes. I'm trying hard to control them. I'm trying and keeps on trying!

Although I'll still be paid for the 2 days but by thinking of this will not make me feel any better. I just feel that this year's birthday will not be a happy one for me. Maybe u will find it kua zhang but I'm serious. And furthermore, I havent receive SIM"s letter. I dunno wat I'm supposed to do now. I'm lost!

first day at work

1st day at work. very tired.

How will the interview turn out?

Gonna go for the interview at Xiao Xiang's company tml. I wonder how will it turn out. Frankly speaking, I'm not very confident with it. At least for the point that my eye condition will deduct marks ba. Well, shun qi zi ran ba although I will still feel abit nervous cos at least this is the first time going for an interview.

Today my sister and her husband came back from Sri Lanka le. Went dinner with them after they came out from the custom at T2 Sakae. AR!!! The boiling water spilled onto my hand! OUCHIE! So pianful! My tears immediately came to my eyes lo.

I felt like buying a new bicycle for myself leh. All thanks to my mum. Gave away my former bike lo. haiZz...I dun care! I'm gonna buy a new one for myself! Nobody is to touch it without my permission! Not even my family! Hee!I love my former bike de lo.

Today is 5th June le! I still havent receive the admission letter from the stupid SIM! How inefficient! Cant understand y they need to take such a long time to send tt pathetic letter.

My Celebrity Look-alikes

No subject for this post cos I dunno wat to put leh.

Have been staying at home these few days. Nothing to do leh. Until now I still havent buy S.H.E's album. Aiyo...Very lazy to go out. But when I want to go and buy, the shop always say out of stock le. Choy! No fate between the album and me. Hee! Ok tml gonna meet Eunice and Claire for lunch so will go de.

Today I woke up super early wor, 5+am. Haha! Siao rite. HaiZZ...Den surf net lo. Den when I was having my breakfast, my daddy called home and told us that he won a bicycle. Some very high quality and can clumb mountain de. That was the grand prize wor. Haha! So heng. But I think Im gonna sell it away cos very big lo. Very *tin tei*(in hokien). But I will play with it for a few days before selling it away. Hee!

Initially, I dun want to organise anything for my bday de but, however, my mum went to the costa sands to book le. Well, since booked so celebrate lo. Was looking at the cake designs of Emicakes. Saw some very cute de but not for 21st bday de leh. Those I like de are for babies de. *sigh* Saw a mahjong de but my sister say dun wan. humph!

Tml is 4th June le. I suppose the letter will arrive tml ba. :)

1st Day Of June

Today is the 1st of June le. Think I'm going to receive the reply from SIm soon le. Actually I cant really remember wat the person has told me about when I will receive the reply. I'm pretty sure is June la but not sure is early June or mid June. Hmm...my 6th sense tell me that it will be early June cos the commencement of the term is July ma so I presuem its early June. They cant expect the students to be prepared within 2 weeks if its mid June ba.

Recently, Kiyoko told me that her company need temp admin and asked me to call up the HR person. I called her le den she asked me to email her my CV and now 2 days le. No reply. Kiyoko say that maybe the person incharge will ask me to go down for interview tml...I mean today cos now is 1st June le. But dunno they will call anot leh.