We reached the chalet at 3pm and the weather was SUPER DAMN hot. Anyway, I din bring any of my shower cream or shampoo there so I CANNOT bathe! How poor thing! Was shocked to receive an sms from Suzhen saying that they will be reaching in maybe 20mins and its only 3.30pm. Very early tho but it was great cos got pple accompany me. As we were playing some card games, I received another sms but it was from GTK and he told me he have a sudden appt so he wont be able to make it. I was quite angry tho cos he was the first few to tell me that he will be coming and he end up flew my kite. HaiZz
As my relatives arrived, Eunice, Xiao Xiang etc also arrived. Den the buffet started. The food was not as bad as wat Xiang had told me about. I particularly like the beancard and the *yu tiao*. Anyway, I just walked here and there socialising and taking photos until the cake appear. Hee...waited very long le cos it was black forest flavoured. My favourite! :P The cake looked great! Very nicely decorated and I love it!
Den it was the cake cutting ceremony. Very hard to describe the feeling at that moment. The moment when I laid the knife onto the surface of the cake, I felt a sudden hmm haha dunno how to explain. But I'm really very very happy to have so many pple celebrating for me. I'm really greatful to them! Especially to those who have been there for me all the time and especially at times when I'm down and sad. U know who u are :P
I'm really very happy but well, I still can remember the feeling I felt on Thursday. Yup of cos I did try not to recall back to wat happened tt day but the memory just dun wanna let me off. It is still following me wherever I went. Although there were many pple at the chalet and I was the main character of the night, I cant feel the importance of myself being the birthday girl. Maybe the matter lies in myself of not being able to let go. But sometimes I will think y should I let go when I have not done anything wrong. But I think that's an excuse to push the blame to others. Apparently, I still think the problem lies on me. Well, I wont cry anymore but if u wan me to be really really as happy as before, I have to say sorry I cant do it. I can smile widely in front of u but dun expect me to be like before, as cheerful, as positive. I'm starting to accept the reality of this world, how is the world looking at me. Last time I will say'just dun bother how pple looks at u' but I wont say such dumb and crap things now.
I dun think anyone or anything can help me with anything now. I think I just needs time to get well and regain strength again. If u ask me to get another job again, I'll tell u straight into ur face *NO*. Maybe u'll say I'm timid but well, I'm not afraid of being a timid anymore. Wanting me to face the same thing again=asking me to kill myself.
All the pple at the chalet wished me happy birthday but I'm finding it a feng ci cos I think I'm not gonna have a happy birthday this year. Pple say the 21st year of ur life represents that u're an adult and does tt means I have to accept anything craps or nonsense so that I'll be called a *matured* person? If thats the case, den I rather be a kid forever so that I no need to go through things which I'm not wishing to go through.
Well, the chalet photos were uploaded so pls view below:
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